Louder Than Words

February 3rd, 2012

On Wednesday, we had our official launch event, Louder Than Words, to officially announce the partnership between the National Dating Abuse Helpline and Break the Cycle. Check out the snapshot of the event. A major thanks to all of the people who made this event possible. Special thanks to Ashley Greene and all of our presenters/performers, as well as all of our sponsors: e.powerment by Mark., Blue Cross Blue Shield, Love Is Not Abuse, Verizon and Hopeline From Verizon.

More event coverage coming soon!

news

The History of Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

February 1st, 2012

February is nationally recognized as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAPM). During the month, people around the nation participate in activities that promote education and awareness about teen dating abuse. This is a crucial time to talk openly about healthy and unhealthy relationships, warning signs and what we can do to lessen the frequency of dating abuse.

Why do we spend a whole month talking about teen dating abuse?

According to the CDC, one in four teens will experience dating abuse during this coming year.

Fifty-two percent of college women know someone who has been the victim of dating abuse (including physical, sexual, verbal, controlling and even digital abuse) according to the Liz Claiborne Inc. 2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll.

If we know the signs of dating abuse, then we can recognize it when we, or a friend or family member, experiences it. If we feel comfortable talking about healthy relationships, then we will be empowered to be respectful partners and speak out when things aren’t right. If we know what resources are available, then we can guide a friend or even ourselves to help if and when we need it.

Education, awareness and intervention are key to stopping dating abuse. February is a chance to increase all three.

When and how did TDVAPM it get its start?

In the 1980s, domestic violence advocates nationwide began uniting to end abuse against women and children during Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). The purpose of DVAM is to mourn those who have died because of domestic violence, to celebrate those who have survived and to connect those who work to end domestic violence. DVAM is celebrated in October.

So how did teen dating violence get its own month? Teens have their own unique challenges when it comes to dating abuse.

Teens may not have very much dating experience and so they base their ideas of dating norms on pop-culture relationships which, as we all know, are rarely good examples. Most teens are attending the same school or live in the same area as their abusive partner which means that it’s difficult for them to avoid seeing them (but not impossible… check out our post on How to Best Avoid an Abusive Ex). It’s also difficult for teens to speak out about abusive relationships because they may feel reluctant to speak candidly with adults who they do not trust. For most teens, the first people they will turn to when they are being abused are their friends.

With all of these differences, it’s no wonder teens get their own month.

In 2006, the national government officially recognized the first week in February as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week. In 2010, Congress announced that the entire month of February would be deemed National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.

Who participates in TDVAPM?

Anyone! Students, teachers, community members, business owners, local, state and even national government officials can all do their part to end dating abuse. We’ll be posting ideas all throughout the month for what you can do to get involved.

Do you have any ideas for what you might do this February? Please share in the comment section below.

awareness

Inside the Advocate’s Studio: Samantha

January 31st, 2012

Advocacy training has been an astoundingly eye-opening experience for me. I don’t think that I really knew what to expect going in.

It’s definitely involved a lot of self-discovery. I guess in learning to deal with domestic violence I’ve been learning a lot about how I deal with people in everyday life, how I look at the world and even how I deal with myself.

I don’t think that I ever really realized how much a single person can influence another person’s life. If I did, I never realized that I could be that influential person.

It’s incredibly beautiful and moving and inspirational to me that just by being there, listening and providing information I can make a tangible difference in the life of someone who is in crisis.

I guess one of the biggest things that has stuck with me throughout the training sessions is how sometimes people may not know that there are options. I think educating them about abuse and empowering them to choose from the options that are available really opens doors.

But you can’t just tell people that they are in an abusive relationship because sometimes they don’t want to hear that. So we learn a lot about “meeting them where they are” – meaning not pushing them to leave if they don’t want to. The trainers like to say that people are the experts in their own situations, and I think that that is totally true.

To gauge where they are you have to really listen to them, and we learn and talk a lot about actively listening. I think it’s actually really challenging to just listen to people and not formulate opinions or try to think ahead to what you’re going to say next or try to compare their situation to yours. You have to really focus on what they are saying.

When you do this, and you don’t put yourself into the conversation, you can find a much deeper level of discussion. If you take a step back and let them talk through their feelings something amazing happens – they come to their own conclusions without you having offered any advice. It’s quite beautiful.

It’s actually really cool that I’m able to sit through the trainings – they are extremely informative and I’m learning a lot. I’m really looking forward to going through the rest of training and finding out even more.

Check out my video interview about training so far.

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