Our Thoughts on Rihanna & Chris Brown
There are many articles circulating around the Chris Brown/Rihanna collaborations that have recently released. Instead of offering an official loveisrespect.org statement, we wanted to let our peer advocates, National Youth Advisory Board members and staff sound off about the stories we’ve seen. Ultimately, we hope both Rihanna and Chris Brown find healing. We as an organization want to help anyone on either side of an abusive situation. We’re always here via phone, chat or text.
Here are the thoughts that were shared:
I feel that is a very common play in the culture of domestic. We look at these two individuals as something other then normal people trying to figure out life. Yes, they are famous, yes they are role models, however they are also two young people coping with the consequences of domestic violence. We knew about the injuries because Rihanna is in the spotlight; her assault was written loud and clear for the public to judge (which is what we are doing now).
- Holland
When I think about Chris and Rihanna, I am always frustrated at the backlash that either one of them are receiving in this.
I worry that we are forgetting that a young women (Rihanna), whose picture we remember bruised and battered, is still recovering inside and will be for the rest of her life. No matter why she refriended, twitter follows or gets back together with Chris, she is someone who didn’t choose to be hurt. In the end, she is a human being, and who we love is who we love, and it takes time to get past a relationship with someone you love.
Maybe that’s why she is going back, but I really care little about that. What I do care about is making certain that in our posts, conversations and thoughts about her, we remember that she is always going to carry a scar that we don’t have to point out to her. She remembers it. We need to care about how we treat anyone who is struggling to regain their footing or dignity after abuse of any kind.
Chris Brown was wrong. What he did was horrific, but I sometimes worry that people’s efforts to destroy him at every opportunity hurts our overall mission to help everyone, especially those that are abusive who are watching these reactions to Chris. People can change and while not all will, we need to produce messages that include the people who choose to use abusive behavior in their relationship. We have to show those who want to change why they can move forward and be a better man or woman.
I agree with a friend who said we need a more organized response to Chris Brown to be effective in holding him accountable to his actions. I believe that he deserves a career, I believe he deserves to be happy, but he also needs to accept that forgiveness comes by always taking the opportunity to accept and assure that he is always trying to work on being a better man. This means admitting that he made a choice to hurt someone and is now making a choice to change.
- Brian
In regard to celebrities speaking out via Twitter about the Rihanna and Chris Brown situation, I think they should be careful to avoid victim-blaming Rihanna. It can be frustrating to watch someone return to an abusive relationship but it’s important to be there for that person instead of judging them or getting angry with them. One way I think celebrities can help show their support is by speaking out against dating abuse and publicizing resources, like the National Domestic Violence Hotline or loveisrespect.org, that help victims and survivors of dating abuse.
- Sarah
While it is Rihanna’s personal choice to choose whether or not to let bygones be bygones with Chris Brown, their public reconciliation through collaborating on these new pieces of music may have an unintended effect on fans. As a music star, Rihanna holds a position of influence with today’s adolescents. While the collaboration with Chris may bring in millions in revenue, it also sends out the calamitous message to those who admire her that domestic violence to something that is trivial and easily dismissible.
Basically, she can choose what she wants to do with her life, but as a public figure she should be more mindful of the negative impact she could be having on the millions of people watching her.
- Caiqian
When I saw the tweets coming from Chris Brown’s fans during the Grammys, I wasn’t shocked — I was disappointed. We’ve come so far in changing attitudes around abuse, but obviously we have a lot more work to do.
- Cristina
While it is sad to see what Chris Brown did to Rihanna, what is even more disturbing is the perpetuation of this type of behavior in other TV shows, movies and music. Young society will not change their beliefs about what a healthy relationship should look like until better behaviors are modeled. Extreme jealousy and controlling behavior has become the norm because of what is being modeled. It is no wonder these girls would say what they did [responding that they would welcome abuse from Chris Brown] because they think that is acceptable and believe that is what one should put up with in a relationship.
Attacking Chris Brown is not going to help him recognize he needs to change and it will only thrust Rihanna closer to him, just like in any real life abusive relationship. He needs to be held accountable and that begins by people demanding better role models.
- Melissa K. Read more…


















