Photo Credit: Seth Sawyers

One in 4 adolescents reports verbal, emotional, physical or sexual dating violence each year. (CDC 2011) Chances are, there’s someone in one of your classes that is in an abusive relationship. You can help them as February, Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention month (TDVAPM), rolls in.

Celebrating the month in your school is a great way to spread awareness about dating violence and help that someone in need. Here are some ideas to get started:

Make periodic school announcements. By taking advantage of a school PA system, you can reach a large audience in an easy way. Researching facts about teen dating violence and delivering those facts to your peers via intercom is a simple way of getting them thinking about teen dating violence.

Advertise in the building. Ask for permission to hang posters in busy or crowded areas around the school. You can make your own or download posters and flyers here. Feel free to give out our phone number, 1-866-331-9474, for 24 hours a day assistance and support. The same goes if they text “loveis” to 77054. Posting these numbers around the school may give a classmate the resource they need.

Use technology. Make a PowerPoint presentation with statistics, stories and resources and get it posted on your school’s website. Create a public service announcement about teen dating violence so students have a visual representation of the message that is accessible at any time. There are plenty of PSAs already on youtube for some ideas.

Ask teachers to discuss dating abuse in class. Give teachers the materials to inform your peers about teen dating violence. The official TDVAPM website contains education resources. If teachers presented the information in class, it would be a step towards raising awareness. Teachers can have profound effects on the lives of their students. By encouraging students to seek help for themselves or for friends or by giving them the tools to be a role model, teachers can aid in the fight against teen dating violence.

Use public events to raise awareness. Schools always have sports events, performances and other programs happening. Using these events to appear in front of a crowd with a message can be an effective way to raise awareness in your school. Getting permission to give a quick message at the halftime of a sports game or the intermission of a play is an opportunity to let people know about teen dating abuse. If possible, organizing an event during February specifically for Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month can be a fun, informative event to spark interest. This event could include games, performances, speakers, art shows and anything in between.

Get your local community leaders involved. This can be as easy as sending a letter or making a phone call. Politicians have heavy influence on everyday life, whether that be by signing legislation or making public statements. By gaining the support of your local politicians, you can attract more attention to your cause. Call your local city hall or school board and ask to speak at the next meeting on behalf of your school. Show the community what your school has done to spread the message.

Raising awareness in your school begins with your efforts. There are many sources to help start the fight against dating violence. Every peer in your school deserves the right to be in a healthy relationship, and you never know who you could help this February.

Jordan Coleman's Film "Payin' the Price"

Can your phone shoot video? What about your computer — does it have a built-in camera? If so, check out what one teen did to make Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAPM) more meaningful for his community.

Young filmmaker Jordan Coleman is using his love of movies to speak out about dating abuse during TDVAPM. Jordan, a 16-year-old from Hackensack, New Jersey, is the writer and director of “Payin’ the Price,” a feature length film which focuses on teen dating abuse.

Two years ago, when Chris Brown made headlines for abusing Rihanna, Jordan was moved by all of the coverage of the incident. It was then that he was inspired to create this film about teen dating abuse and its effect on individuals and communities.

“Everyone had an opinion about what happened between Chris and Rihanna,” Jordan said in an interview with Nick Chiles, hosted on Denene Millner’s blog, My Brown Baby. “The incident brought teen dating violence into American homes like never before.”

For him, this was the perfect opportunity to mesh his passion for filmmaking with his passion for making a difference in the community. Today, Jordan is preparing to embark on a 20-city national tour showcasing his project. He hopes that this film will ignite a national dialogue.

Jordan Coleman is a perfect example of a teen using his resources to promote awareness about dating abuse. He used his own time, money and creativity to make an awesome, awareness-raising movie. Using artistic expression — be it writing a poem, painting a picture or writing a song — is a way to convey personal feelings about a topic to a larger audience.

You could make a movie like Jordan did. It doesn’t have to be as large-scale — you can make a two-minute clip and post it to YouTube. Most digital cameras, cell phones and computers now have video cameras built in so it’s easy to make your own film. You can even film yourself or your friends simply talking about the issue, post the video to YouTube or Vimeo and then share it through Facebook. Check out some of our videos to get some ideas for your own.

We want to know how you’re bringing awareness to dating abuse. How are you spreading the word and participating in TDVAPM?

Photo Courtesy: SashaW

As tiring as it is, training is going excellently. We are constantly moving forward. The people training us are fantastic at what they do. They’re passionate and loving and strong, not to mention incredibly gifted. Everyone is working as a powerful team against abuse. If I were someone seeking help, loveisrespect would be my first place to go.

I learned a lot about the resources available to people – adults and teens – looking for help. I, as an advocate, will be ready and able to connect you to any kind of resource, and that is pretty cool. Not only is it my job to do that, but I’m also so happy to do it. I’m slowly catching onto the fact that the people here are so happy with their work, even if it is a little stressful at times.

Learning how to talk to callers and chatters has been one of the more challenging aspects of the training. It’s tough to think on my feet, even if I’m just on a pretend call. The advocates I’ve met and seen in action do it so naturally that it’s weird to think I might be on their level someday.

I’ve also realized how vital friends and family can be to someone in an unhealthy relationship. Those are the people we go to the most, so if they know how to help they can be an invaluable resource. Friends and family of victims call often looking for advice on how to help someone they love. It’s inspiring that they’re courageous enough to stand up for their friend.

I still feel like there’s so much more to learn. I’ll keep you posted on my training, but feel free to call, text or chat with us 24/7!

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

With Valentine’s Day come and gone, the love bug is still extremely contagious. But some of us won’t be bit this year, and we’ll be spending the day celebrating a different kind of love — friendship. We want to take a minute and celebrate awesome friends and the ways that they make our lives better just by being in them.

Friends are the family we get to choose. They are the people who have seen us at our best and our worst and support us through it all.

A friend is someone who will call you out privately when you’re wrong, but will stand by you in public. You can tell your buddies anything, ask them any question and know that they’ll be honest with you.

They are your sounding board and you know that they’ll never let you make a fool out of yourself or make a bad decision — at least without telling you that that’s what you’re going to do.

When you need advice, your friends are there to listen and help you figure out what the right move is. They can help you think through even the most complicated situation and make a good decision about what action to take.

They are there to celebrate the beginning of a relationship with you. They listen to you brag about your new love interest and retell the same stories over and over again.

And if the relationship is unhealthy, your friends watch out for you. They’ll speak up and let you know if they think that something isn’t right. In an abusive relationship, your friends can be so important. They can support you while you’re experiencing the abuse and help you leave the relationship if that’s what you decide to do.

If you are in a relationship and it ends, your friends are always there to lift you up when you’re down. The will watch bad movies with you, take you out and introduce you to new friends to get your mind off of your break up. They will make you laugh and build you up to make you feel better. They will help you through it.

Your friends are there for you no matter what. They love and support you through everything and will always have your back.

So if you flew solo this Valentine’s Day, think about spending some time this week with your other soul mates — your BFF’s.

Share this with a friend who makes you feel loved and supported. Thank them for being a good friend to you and promise to return the kindness. Share stories of friends who have helped you through rough times in the comment field below.

These questions can help you decide if your love is meant to be:

• Does your partner respect your individuality? Does he/she encourage you to do your own thing?
• Does your partner respect your privacy?
• Does your partner respect your time with family and friends?
• Does your partner make you feel good about yourself, instead of insulting you or putting you down? Does he/she compliment you? Does he/she support your dreams and goals?
• Can you communicate your feelings without being afraid of negative consequences?
• Do you feel safe being open and honest?
• Does your partner support you and your choices, even when they disagree with out?

Being in love is beautiful and wonderful and fun — especially when it’s with the right person.

This Valentine’s Day take a second to evaluate your partner and make sure that they are who you want to be with. It’s OK if they aren’t, and if that’s the case then you can check out our helpful tips to make a break up go over smoothly.

Remember: you deserve to be loved and respected by someone who makes you feel appreciated. So, do Cupid a favor and make sure you’re with the right person on Valentine’s Day.

We have Valentine’s to give you. Print these below and share them with your friends.

Click here for the printable Valentine’s Day cards.

Click here for images to attach in an email to your sweetheart.

Today, BuzzFeed shared the 25 most disturbing reactions to Chris Brown at the Grammys. The article highlighted 25 tweets that talked about how willing women were to be abused by Chris if it meant that they also got to be with him.

One girl tweeted, “I don’t know why Rihanna complained. Chris Brown could beat me anytime he wanted to.” Another shared, “Dude, Chris Brown can punch me in the face as much as he wants to, just as long as he kisses it.”

Joking or not, these comments minimize the pain felt by victims of dating abuse. Statements like these perpetuate the myth that dating abuse isn’t a big deal. No one wants, or deserves, to be in an abusive relationship.

Young victims of dating abuse are afraid to share their stories and get help for a number of reasons, one of which is that they may not be believed or supported. If we talk like this with our friends, then we are sending a message that we don’t take abuse seriously. This discourages our friends from coming to us for help or being open about their situation.

We want to be clear that our reaction to this has nothing to do with Chris Brown. We are not ok with these comments because they create a hurtful, insensitive environment for any victims of abuse.

This is an opportunity for education. We encourage you to share the BuzzFeed article with your friends and help us spread the word that minimizing the pain of victims and survivors is not right.

What do you think? How did reading the BuzzFeed article make you feel?

Please enjoy this look back at our beginnings:

More event coverage coming soon!

Why do we spend a whole month talking about teen dating abuse?

According to the CDC, one in four teens will experience dating abuse during this coming year.

Fifty-two percent of college women know someone who has been the victim of dating abuse (including physical, sexual, verbal, controlling and even digital abuse) according to the Liz Claiborne Inc. 2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll.

If we know the signs of dating abuse, then we can recognize it when we, or a friend or family member, experiences it. If we feel comfortable talking about healthy relationships, then we will be empowered to be respectful partners and speak out when things aren’t right. If we know what resources are available, then we can guide a friend or even ourselves to help if and when we need it.

Education, awareness and intervention are key to stopping dating abuse. February is a chance to increase all three.

When and how did TDVAPM it get its start?

In the 1980s, domestic violence advocates nationwide began uniting to end abuse against women and children during Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). The purpose of DVAM is to mourn those who have died because of domestic violence, to celebrate those who have survived and to connect those who work to end domestic violence. DVAM is celebrated in October.

So how did teen dating violence get its own month? Teens have their own unique challenges when it comes to dating abuse.

Teens may not have very much dating experience and so they base their ideas of dating norms on pop-culture relationships which, as we all know, are rarely good examples. Most teens are attending the same school or live in the same area as their abusive partner which means that it’s difficult for them to avoid seeing them (but not impossible… check out our post on How to Best Avoid an Abusive Ex). It’s also difficult for teens to speak out about abusive relationships because they may feel reluctant to speak candidly with adults who they do not trust. For most teens, the first people they will turn to when they are being abused are their friends.

With all of these differences, it’s no wonder teens get their own month.

In 2006, the national government officially recognized the first week in February as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week. In 2010, Congress announced that the entire month of February would be deemed National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.

Who participates in TDVAPM?

Anyone! Students, teachers, community members, business owners, local, state and even national government officials can all do their part to end dating abuse. We’ll be posting ideas all throughout the month for what you can do to get involved.

Do you have any ideas for what you might do this February? Please share in the comment section below.

It’s definitely involved a lot of self-discovery. I guess in learning to deal with domestic violence I’ve been learning a lot about how I deal with people in everyday life, how I look at the world and even how I deal with myself.

I don’t think that I ever really realized how much a single person can influence another person’s life. If I did, I never realized that I could be that influential person.

It’s incredibly beautiful and moving and inspirational to me that just by being there, listening and providing information I can make a tangible difference in the life of someone who is in crisis.

I guess one of the biggest things that has stuck with me throughout the training sessions is how sometimes people may not know that there are options. I think educating them about abuse and empowering them to choose from the options that are available really opens doors.

But you can’t just tell people that they are in an abusive relationship because sometimes they don’t want to hear that. So we learn a lot about “meeting them where they are” – meaning not pushing them to leave if they don’t want to. The trainers like to say that people are the experts in their own situations, and I think that that is totally true.

To gauge where they are you have to really listen to them, and we learn and talk a lot about actively listening. I think it’s actually really challenging to just listen to people and not formulate opinions or try to think ahead to what you’re going to say next or try to compare their situation to yours. You have to really focus on what they are saying.

When you do this, and you don’t put yourself into the conversation, you can find a much deeper level of discussion. If you take a step back and let them talk through their feelings something amazing happens – they come to their own conclusions without you having offered any advice. It’s quite beautiful.

It’s actually really cool that I’m able to sit through the trainings – they are extremely informative and I’m learning a lot. I’m really looking forward to going through the rest of training and finding out even more.

Check out my video interview about training so far.